As we commemorate Baby Loss Awareness Week from 9 to 15 October, we share the touching story of Nicola Haines, a mother who turned her tragedy into a beacon of hope for others.
In December 2023, Nicola Haines and her husband experienced a life-altering tragedy that would forever change their world. Through the wonders of IVF, they had conceived their first child, a baby girl they named Eden, a name Nicola had cherished for a decade. Their pregnancy was smooth, filled with joy and anticipation, as they prepared to welcome their miracle into the world.
However, at 38 weeks and 5 days, just six days shy of their planned induction, Nicola noticed a change. Eden, usually active, hadn’t moved for several hours. With growing concern, they rushed to the hospital, where their lives took an unimaginable turn. Nicola had suffered a blood clot that ruptured the placenta. Despite an emergency C-section, their daughter Eden could only grace the world for five precious hours before passing away in her father’s arms.
Finding solace in the Butterfly Suite
In the midst of their grief, Nicola and her husband found solace in the Butterfly Suite, a maternity bereavement suite designed to support families experiencing such profound loss. This facility, unknown to many expectant parents, became a sanctuary for Nicola’s family, providing them the space and time to bond with Eden in her brief life.
For five days, the suite became their world. Nicola, still recovering, received continuous care while her husband stayed by their side. Together, they held Eden, read to her, played her favourite Disney songs, and memorised every detail of their beloved daughter. The suite offered them privacy, away from the sounds of new life in the maternity ward, which was crucial for Nicola’s mental health.
The care they received from the staff, especially Louisa and Nicola, was nothing short of inspirational. These caregivers became part of their family during this poignant time, offering support and compassion that left a lasting impact.
Giving back in Eden’s honour
In memory of Eden, Nicola and her husband decided to support the Butterfly Suite, raising nearly £8,000 to help other families facing similar heartbreak. The suite, partially funded by the NHS, relies heavily on donations to provide the extra comforts that mean so much during such dark times.
Nicola’s fundraising efforts aim to ensure that other parents can find the same solace and support they did. The memories created in those five days are cherished by Nicola and her husband, offering them a sense of peace and purpose as they navigate their grief.
Through their generosity, Nicola hopes to bring comfort to others in the child loss community, ensuring that the Butterfly Suite can continue to offer its vital services. Her story is a testament to the enduring power of love and the human spirit’s capacity to find hope and healing amidst unimaginable loss.
Please read Nicola’s story in her own words – a journey of love, loss, and the enduring impact of compassion.
“We were 38 + 5 weeks pregnant, only six days from our induction, when I noticed our usually active Princess, hadn’t kicked for a few hours, with no time to waste my husband took me to the hospital, this is where our lives changed for the worse forever. I had suffered a blood clot that had ruptured our Placenta, I had no pain, no bleeding, no signs other than our beautiful Daughter, Eden seemed tired in my belly, through emergency C-section our Daughter was born, she touched this earth for five hours and her little body fought so hard, we will forever be proud of her, we were told through the Doctors extensive efforts, that our Eden was losing her battle, our baby girl, who was our miracle and the love of our lives, we had to make the decision no parent should ever have to do, and let her be at peace. Our baby took her last breath with her Daddy.
“What comes next has offered us comfort for the rest of our lives. Myself, my Husband and our Daughter were taken into what is called a bereavement suite, I never knew such a department existed, why would any new excited Mum to be want to know this or should, it’s a suite that no parent should ever have to be in with their child, however unfortunately, even in our day and age, child loss still tragically happens. We were in the suite for five days, this is where we became a family, I was still recovering so I had round the clock care. My husband never left our side, we stayed in a double bed, our Daughter in her cuddle cot next to me all the time, we had our own en-suite, fridge, kettle, etc.
“We got to hold her, read to her, play Disney princess songs, bath her, change her, we were parents. We memorised every inch of our daughter, her fingerprints, to her beautiful thick brown hair, the detail in her ears, and stroking our Edens hand until her hand was warm. We were able to tell our daughter we loved her whilst holding her. The Bereavement unit arranged professional photos with a wonderful charity, we had our Daughter blessed, hand & feet imprints, we had our own entrance to our suite, so our Eden met her Nana & Grandad and uncle Michael and Auntie Paula, who also created their own memory’s. The suite was away from new Mums and healthy baby’s, which helped my mental health.
“The support and care we received as a family was amazing, the care the staff had with our Daughter, my husband and I was inspirational. I think of the staff often, especially Louisa & Nicola, who in some ways became part of our family in our memory’s we share when we were complete. The Bereavement unit offered us TIME with our Daughter to create memory’s. It is the most humane experience when suffering such a tragic and devastating loss anyone can ever go through, and the QE bereavement unit offered us this. We will forever be grateful. The memory’s we have of those five days are memory’s we will cherish every day for the rest of our lives. This is why we wanted to offer support to the bereavement unit by donations in our beautiful Eden’s honour. To bring comfort to parents who will devastatingly suffer as we did. Although the unit is partially run by the NHS it also relies on donation to offer that extra comfort to parents and their little Angels in such a dark time. It brings us comfort knowing that we can offer support in any way we can to parents who devastatingly become part of the child loss community.”